| Previously on TheAngryPen: |
09-12-2000 2 Parties |
08-18-2000 Al’s Acceptance |
08-10-2000 Gore’s Choice |
08-03-2000 The American Dream |
07-20-2000 History and Hollywood |
07-13-2000 40 Acres and a Mule |
07-06-2000 The God We Trust |
06-29-2000 Lyrical Assault |
06-15-2000 Bank Fees |
06-07-2000 A Mixture Often of Incongruous Elements |
05-24-2000 Social Security |
05-17-2000 Governmental Good Intentions |
05-10-2000 Johnny Reb and Disgusting Fatbodies |
05-03-2000 Low Fidelity |
04-26-2000 Jackboots and Black Helicopters |
04-19-2000 Movie Trailers |
04-12-2000 All Things Cuban |
04-05-2000 Censorship |
03-29-2000 Juries and Tobacco |
03-22-2000 Several Things |
03-15-2000 Gore the Reformer |
03-08-2000 Mission to Mars |
03-08-2000 Super Tuesday |
03-03-2000 Little Johnny Murderer |
03-01-2000 Bob Jones |
02-23-2000 The Christian Coalition |
02-16-2000 Valentine's Day |
02-09-2000 Short-Sighted Political Parties |
02-02-2000 Mosh Pits |
01-12-2000 Al Gore's Personality |
11-17-1999 Playboy |
09-02-1999 The Demise of Heavy Metal |
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TheAngryPen vs. The Demise of Heavy Metal |
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A little commentary on the state of music today...
I admit it, I like Heavy Metal. I've been sorry to see it go the way of the Dodo over the past ten years or so. I think it's sad that once proud monsters of rock Like Motley Crue are forced to play the Wiltern Theatre, at least when that stage is not already occupied by acts like the Los Angeles Gay Men's choir (an actual Wiltern show). Anyway, as I look around the industry for people to blame for this tragic turn of events, I feel I have to lay a large portion of that blame at the feet of bands like the one that opened for Slaughter last night.
1. Let's start with the band's name. REACTOR. Names like Warrant, Poison, and Slaughter worked in the 80's. We may never know how or why they worked, and maybe that's for the best. But they don't work now. Can't you see the band meeting on this issue. "Naw, dudes, check it out! How 'bout Reactor. Dude, think about it, reactor...nuclear reactor...nuclear war...that shit is loud...we're loud...aaaaaay!"
Lemme put it this way. If you're doing small club venues in L.A. and you're not already an established band, a name like Reactor just ain't gonna cut it with a hardened metal fandom, and in fact, just might get you beaten up on the way out to the van.
2. Band logo. Behind Reactor's drum kit was this huge blackboard-type thing with the band's logo painted on it in huge, high school art-class, airbrushed, faux-metallic, Star Trek font letters. The tail of the "R" trailed off into a lightning bolt, and the "O" was painted to look like a record album. Yes that's right, a record album. Digital revolution? Anybody heard of it? Hello...Reactor, I'm looking in your direction. Suffice it to say I haven't seen a cheesier logo since the KISS cover band Myztery took the stage in DETROIT ROCK CITY (which movie was set in 1978 I might add).
3. Lyrical homicide. When Van Halen released For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge back in the early 90's I thought then, and still do now, that that would be the last time a band would be allowed to get away with that kind of lyrical retardation. I still think that if it hadn't been Van Halen, the album would have been laughed right off the shelves. I remember a music critic at the time remarking that he missed the days when Van Halen didn't have to spell FUCK in their album titles.
Here are just a few of Reactor's worst song title offenses...
Nasty Habit (favortite lyric..."I'm your nasty habit baby...yeah!")
Gimme the Green Light (which the lead singer was quick to point out has
absolutely nothing to do with traffic...wink, wink)
What Goes Around Comes Around (well, I'm afraid I don't even know what to say
about this one, except to point out that I would be surprised if there was even
one metal band in history that didn't at least consider calling one of their
songs "WGACA" at some point in their careers. Originality points = 0)
4. And finally, I'm always impressed when I see a band that genuinely believes that a shirtless, big-haired guitarist who isn't particularly talented, and a singer with a high warbling voice are actually original ideas.
To sum up...Reactor, c'mon guys, there's a reason you're opening for the band that opens for Slaughter.
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