Previously on TheAngryPen:

09-12-2000 2 Parties

08-18-2000 Al’s Acceptance

08-10-2000 Gore’s Choice

08-03-2000 The American Dream

07-20-2000 History and Hollywood

07-13-2000 40 Acres and a Mule

07-06-2000 The God We Trust

06-29-2000 Lyrical Assault

06-15-2000 Bank Fees

06-07-2000 A Mixture Often of Incongruous Elements

05-24-2000 Social Security

05-17-2000 Governmental Good Intentions

05-10-2000 Johnny Reb and Disgusting Fatbodies

05-03-2000 Low Fidelity

04-26-2000 Jackboots and Black Helicopters

04-19-2000 Movie Trailers

04-12-2000 All Things Cuban

04-05-2000 Censorship

03-29-2000 Juries and Tobacco

03-22-2000 Several Things

03-15-2000 Gore the Reformer

03-08-2000 Mission to Mars

03-08-2000 Super Tuesday

03-03-2000 Little Johnny Murderer

03-01-2000 Bob Jones

02-23-2000 The Christian Coalition

02-16-2000 Valentine's Day

02-09-2000 Short-Sighted Political Parties

02-02-2000 Mosh Pits

01-12-2000 Al Gore's Personality

11-17-1999 Playboy

09-02-1999 The Demise of Heavy Metal

	TheAngryPen vs. Censorship

We are at war people! The forces of censorship are all around us. Religious organizations, local PTA chapters, the PMRC, and politicians looking for easy soundbites to rouse the numbed masses have all found an easy target in Hollywood. And as the election year heats up, it's only going to get worse. What it comes down to is this: we've all got to do our share to push back the enemies of freedom. This means you! Yes, even those of you who don't work in Hollywood, there's something you can do too. The Pen calls it "exercising your responsibility."

Violence in Hollywood is the hot button issue of the moment. Every time some mid-western fourteen-year-old opens up on his classmates with a water-cooled M-240 Golf, the politicians go on the offensive, and by the time they're through Hollywood has been implicated in everything from the rise of the Third Reich to the demise of that carton of milk that went bad after you accidentally left it on the kitchen counter all night. Usually, the only group that comes off looking worse than Hollywood is the NRA, which only goes to show--all you Lefties--that the NRA is good for something, after all.

But the NRA won't run interference for us forever. Sooner or later, we're going to have to do something about this issue ourselves, or the Government is going to come in and do it for us (exactly the way they're about to do with guns).

But what's the solution? Should Hollywood stop making violent films? I agree that movie violence sometimes goes way beyond the line of good taste. But the fact is that this is how art evolves, by constantly pushing the envelope. When Jesse Helms and his culture-Nazis went after Robert Mapplethorpe, the enlightened among us said "Hey, that ain't the country we're livin' in folks. Hands off!" Why should we react any differently when it comes to movies? The point is that communities and individuals are responsible for their own standards of good taste, and if a movie, or anything else for that matter, is in bad taste, then communities, or the individuals within them, should refuse to patronize them. That's how the market is supposed to work and, I would argue, often does work. Example: how many people do you know who actually paid to see End of Days? We don't need, nor do we want, believe you me, the Government making laws to decide these issues for us.

And make no mistake folks, movies are art. One of the last, best art forms Americans have left, as a matter of fact. It lives, it breathes, and it evolves. But to continue to do so, The Fight Club's and Dogma's of the world must be allowed to co-exist alongside the Patch Adams' and Disney animated films that middle-America relies upon for family entertainment.

Do violent films turn kids into homicidal maniacs? The truth is we don't know. But until someone comes up with a definitive answer to the question, we should all behave as if we are at least considering the possibility that young people are adversely affected by movie violence, and put the world on notice that we have included this variable in our decision making process. How do we do this? Simple:

To Hollywood: be responsible with violence. Don't feel like violence or depravity needs to be amped up in each successive movie in an attempt to outdo the last film that made people stand up and take notice. Movies can be jam-packed with violence and still suck…evidence: The Last Action Hero. Likewise, they can be more subtle in the violence they depict and be brilliant…evidence: The Sixth Sense, which was about as restrained a movie as I've seen in the last ten years.

Believe it or not, this may actually be happening. The Hollywood Reporter published an article on February 14th reporting that Disney is dropping plans to release Duets, a black comedy starring Gwyneth Paltrow, because of two violent murder scenes. The paper quotes a Disney source as saying, "Those two scenes completely take you out of the film. It's just not for us. It may get a better release somewhere else." The movie will still get a theatrical release, which makes The Pen happy, but at least somebody has gone on record as being worried about the kind of violence that winds up in local multi-plexes.

To the theater chains: enforce the MPAA's under-seventeen restriction by checking ID's. Don't turn a blind eye to young kids sneaking into hyper-violent films. They really shouldn't be watching them, whether you believe they have an effect on behavior or not. Frankly, I'd rather see a ten-year-old watching a sex-packed NC-17 like Henry and June than an R-rated Die Hard. At least Henry gives a little tutorial on the art of pleasing your woman. Nobody ever went to jail on a charge of "the sex was just too damn good."

To Parents: don't take advantage of the "unless accompanied by an adult" loophole. This is my biggest gripe, and I can't say this enough. If you can't find a sitter for your five-year-old son, but still really want to see Bloody Axe Wound III, then for God's sake, take one for the team and stay home, OK! Don't bring the kid to the theater and expect him to keep his eyes closed during the really gory stuff. You can catch the flick on video and wait for BAW IV to come out next summer. I don't want to find out somewhere down the line that your son blew my kid away because Bruce Willis suggested that this might be a good way to deal with people who piss you off.

Quick Anecdote: The Pen went to see The Matrix last summer. Fantastic flick! I sat about ten rows back, dead center, my seat of choice, and right in front of a ten-year-old boy who was there with his Dad. Now, if you saw the film, you'll remember a scene where the two heroes storm into a building armed to the teeth and wearing long black trench coats. Great scene! Anyway, this was about two months after the whole Columbine/Trench Coat Mafia thing went down and as Keanu and his co-star Carrie Ann Moss finished killing off all the virtual bad guys, Carrie put her pistol to the head of one of the last survivors and said "Dodge this!" milliseconds before putting a .40 caliber bullet in his brain. Behind me, the ten-year-old said "coooool." And somewhere in the darkened theater, The mighty Pen shivered.

Say it along with me folks, "personal responsibility."

There now, was that so hard? Now nobody has to be censored. God I love solving all of society's problems.