Previously on TheAngryPen:

09-12-2000 2 Parties

08-18-2000 Al’s Acceptance

08-10-2000 Gore’s Choice

08-03-2000 The American Dream

07-20-2000 History and Hollywood

07-13-2000 40 Acres and a Mule

07-06-2000 The God We Trust

06-29-2000 Lyrical Assault

06-15-2000 Bank Fees

06-07-2000 A Mixture Often of Incongruous Elements

05-24-2000 Social Security

05-17-2000 Governmental Good Intentions

05-10-2000 Johnny Reb and Disgusting Fatbodies

05-03-2000 Low Fidelity

04-26-2000 Jackboots and Black Helicopters

04-19-2000 Movie Trailers

04-12-2000 All Things Cuban

04-05-2000 Censorship

03-29-2000 Juries and Tobacco

03-22-2000 Several Things

03-15-2000 Gore the Reformer

03-08-2000 Mission to Mars

03-08-2000 Super Tuesday

03-03-2000 Little Johnny Murderer

03-01-2000 Bob Jones

02-23-2000 The Christian Coalition

02-16-2000 Valentine's Day

02-09-2000 Short-Sighted Political Parties

02-02-2000 Mosh Pits

01-12-2000 Al Gore's Personality

11-17-1999 Playboy

09-02-1999 The Demise of Heavy Metal

	TheAngryPen vs. All Things Cuban

Just send Elian home for God's sake!

And if ole' Fidel wants to parade him around in the streets and tell the world he's a hero of the revolution, liberated from the claws of the evil Capitalists, then let 'im. Doesn't change the fact that his people are eating sand and no one's seen an electric light since '62.

Somebody please take this entire story and mail it to 1969 when we might have cared.

And to the Cuban lobby in Miami: Just shut the hell up already! The Pen, who lives here in the United States of "the Dow is at 11,000 and climbing", doesn't give a damn about whether some rinky-dink island in the Carribean is Communist or not. Whether Elian stays or goes, the major source of nutrition for the local Cuban populace will remain dirty sock soup for the foreseeable future. How much longer is Fidel going to be able to convince his people that this is a normal state of human affairs? And if Elian's dad is determined to subject him to that nonsense, who are we to say "boo?" I mean really. Give the kid a handful of Flinstone's chewables and send him on his way!!!

And to the Mayor of Miami who oh-so-subtly announced he would blame the Justice Department if Elian's saga were to lead to rioting and civil unrest: Uh... no Mr. Mayor, The Pen will blame YOU, and the people who riot, for those riots, thank you very much. So you can take your threats and shove 'em right up yer wazoo!

Using the threat of violence as a tool for political change... Fidel would be proud.

Angry Pen out.