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Saturday, May 06, 2000
Hey, check out PayLars.com. (Sorry Lars... the money doesn't go to you. It's a fundraising effort to help poor Metallica recover from all the lost revenue they're suffering by having their music pirated.)
posted by MES 11:54 PM ET | discuss | link
Okay, Lars. By your request, I've dusted off my Snappy (quite literally!) to bring you this capture of Burns in the tank from the Mother Simpson episode.
posted by MES 11:22 PM ET | discuss | link
Just completed a modest redesign on the site. This blog is now featured on the main web page.
posted by MES 4:24 PM ET | discuss | link
Friday, May 05, 2000
Wanna hear what Hell sounds like? A clip from wacky Art Bell's show featuring a recording of Hell. I recommend skipping Art's insane ramblings. The recording, which sounds to me like a shopping mall at Christmas, heard from the bottom of a well, starts at the 2 minute mark. There's a lot of religious ramblings on the page, so you have to scroll down a ways to find the recording. It's a little less than halfway down... RealAudio I'm afraid.
posted by LT2 7:51 PM ET | discuss | link
This is pretty funny. Live cam in the Oval Office.
posted by LT2 6:22 PM ET | discuss | link
My agency just signed Antoine Fuqua. You may remember him as the director who first introduced Chow Yun-Fat to American Audiences in Replacement Killers. Anyway, the reason I mention this is because it was my idea that he should direct the next movie Denzel Washington is doing. He got the job and signed with us. Thank you, thank you. Just wanted to get this up on the Blog for posterity, since chances are good no one in this bldg. is likely to remember that The Hand of Laaz was a factor in this signing.
posted by LT2 5:38 PM ET | discuss | link
The joke virus is baaaaaack! Just got the e-mail from one of the offices here in the building. Boy, you gotta be a special kinda stupid to catch this virus at this point!!!
posted by LT2 5:31 PM ET | discuss | link
I've heard good things about this one too. Next time you're in the bookstore, pick it up and read the notes at the beginning, and the paragraph beneath the author's picture on the back flap of the dust-jacket. You are guaranteed to guffaw.
posted by LT2 5:08 PM ET | discuss | link
The biggest agent in town just asked me, with very little notice, to come up with a list of project ideas for a major movie star he represents. I did it and finished it just as they were ready to begin the meeting. So now my ideas are being given to this movie star completely un-sanitized. So, I guess in an hour or so, I'll either be a hero, or fired.
posted by LT2 4:47 PM ET | discuss | link
There are two shows coming up this weekend on BookTV on C-SPAN2 that interest me:at 1:20am EDT on Sunday is a panel discussion featuring
Then, at 9:15pm EDT on Sunday is a lecture by Malcolm Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference, which is a book I've been hearing a lot about, and which I have already reserved a copy at my library.
posted by MES 4:34 PM ET | discuss | link
So, I had to get my teeth sanded again this morning and I have to say, I can't imagine a more horrible sound that is not also attached to any sort of excrutiating pain. Try to imagine, if you can, this sound but amplified 3,000 times and reverberating through your skull. Fascinating shit.
posted by LT2 1:34 PM ET | discuss | link
Here is another, I think funnier, version of the George W. article Mike posted last night.
posted by LT2 12:52 PM ET | discuss | link
Time for Laaz's "what's at the movies this weekend and why you shouldn't go see them" feature. Let's start with Gladiator... If you are going to see one movie this weekend, I would imagine there is very little possibility that you will be seeing any movie besides Gladiator, so there may be no point to this. But... you should know that Roger Ebert (who, admittedly, seems to be going against conventional wisdom) panned it, giving it the same number of stars as I Dreamed of Africa, which is already being called, here in early May, the worst movie of the year. And the criticisms Ebert has for Gladiator are exactly the kinds of things that piss me off. One-dimensional characters, cheesy effects, close-up, hard-to-follow action sequences substitutuing for good choreography. So, suddenly, I am much less excited to see this flick. If you have any reservations at all, wait until Sunday and see what your friends thought of it.The Virgin Suicides is supposed to be really good. My company represents the director, who is Sofia Coppola... son of Coppola, and perpetrator of one of the worst movie felonies in American history... Michael Corleone's daughter in Godfather 3 ("Daddy? Daaaaaaddy?"). Many of us have said in the past that we could never forgive her for that, but word is that she has gone a long way toward redeeming herself with this--much as these next words kinda make me gag--touching farce.
posted by LT2 12:40 PM ET | discuss | link
Interesting article about the Clinton parody video: Bill Clinton Remakes American Beauty by Timothy Noah
posted by MES 12:38 PM ET | discuss | link
The picture of the day... as far as Laaz is concerned.
posted by LT2 12:26 PM ET | discuss | link
I think I have managed to excise E.R. from my viewing schedule once and for all. It's the same shit every week now... some sad case comes in and the only way to save their life is to do something they're not supposed to do. Somebody does it anyway. They get in trouble with the angry bald guy. They apologize. Credits roll. Oh wait, I forgot, lately they've been punctuating the proceedings with the same old sappy "my dad is still dying of cancer..." scenes. Ugh! NEXT!!!
posted by LT2 11:20 AM ET | discuss | link
Here's a hilarious, and interesting, article about the things that come out of George W's mouth.
posted by MES 2:15 AM ET | discuss | link
Aarrgh! The local news promos are at it again tonight! There was this very interesting promo tonight for a story on News 4 about surveillance cameras on school buses. (Half of Fairfax County's school buses are equipped with video cameras aimed at the students.) The promo for it featured a voiceover saying "Cameras on school buses are becoming common in the area. We'll take a look at what the camera captures," accompanied by the grainy, surveillance camera footage with the kids' faces blurred out. I was really looking forward to seeing what the cameras captured. Well, you want to know what they captured? Nothing! The story was about how, with the cameras installed, kids aren't misbehaving anymore. So this "footage" that they were hyping was totally uninteresting, and pretty much irrelevant to the story!
posted by MES 1:58 AM ET | discuss | link
Thursday, May 04, 2000
I quote this word for word from a promo for tonight's Fox5 News at Ten:"There's something on your next flight that could make you very ill. The air? The food? Nope! Bigger than that! Find out what it is, tonight at ten!"Damn them! I'd tune in too, if it weren't already 11:48.
posted by MES 11:48 PM ET | discuss | link
Check out the scariness that is eBay Treasure, especially stuff like this.
posted by MES 8:46 PM ET | discuss | link
People just don't seem to learn, do they? All day it's been virus, virus, virus... Well, now the ILOVEYOU virus is circulating again because some joker came up with the brilliant idea of renaming it. Sheesh. But do people think twice about opening this new "joke"? No!People! If you don't know what it is, don't open it! The problem is, there are lots of legitimately funny jokes that circulate as executable files, that we are training the ignorant to think these kinds of files are harmless.
posted by MES 7:12 PM ET | discuss | link
So, even though I referenced it in last week's Pen, I have to admit, I didn't really know much about the Kent State Massacre before today. But apparently, today is the anniversary, and I heard a fantastic piece on Morning Edition about the incident... complete with a sound montage. Goddamn was that tragic. Screw Watergate, that was just a bunch of geeks who thought they were spies, runnin' around in the dark playing cloak and dagger. This was some serious shit!So, for a little taste of what could've happened three weeks ago in Miami, you (and Janet Reno) should all click here and listen to what did happen in Ohio 30 years ago.
posted by LT2 11:47 AM ET | discuss | link
While I am thrilled to hear that the Schwartz has come over to our side on the West Wing thing, I'm alarmed in that one more person is now being exposed to their propaganda. Refutation of that show could become a regular Thursday morning feature on this blog.1. I will continue to point out that Democrats have not, for years, been desperately looking for a way to inject campaign finance reform into our public discourse only to have Republicans foil them at every turn, for as long as The West Wing wants to pretend the opposite. It was John McCain's (a Republican) issue. End of story.
2. President Bartlett made a speech where he said term limits are not necessary because we have them already... "They're called elections!", he shouted, to great applause. Well, sorry to point this out Mr. President, but elections only work as term limitations in Presidential elections, where everyone in the country is voting for one of the same two people. And we HAVE term limits for that office. The problem is in the Congress, where seniority reigns. Let's say the entire country hates a particular senator from California. well there's very little anyone in 49 of the other states, and a large part of California, can do about it. And for those who can vote against her...uh... this hypothetical Senator, there is very little incentive to do so since their representation in the Senate will lose all it's power if they dump the senior Senator in favor of some know-nothing Freshman. Ain't gonna happen folks! That's why we need term limits. And by the way, everyone in Congress hates the idea of TL's, so you just know they must be a good idea.
posted by LT2 11:39 AM ET | discuss | link
Wednesday, May 03, 2000
Okay, I finally succumbed to the peer pressure and watched The West Wing and Law and Order for the first time, and I'm afraid I may have added two hours per week to my weekly TV watching load. (In other words, I enjoyed them both.) I wonder if NBC will give me a change to start West Wing from the beginning over the summer? Luckily, Law and Order was very new-viewer-friendly, as it seems each episode is self-contained.Now if you catch me watching WWF on a regular basis, then you'll know I have no resistance to peer pressure!
posted by MES 11:19 PM ET | discuss | link
One post today!?!?! Is the Blogger honeymoon over?
posted by LT2 7:01 PM ET | discuss | link
Had a thought in the shower this morning... actually, most of my best thinking is done in the bathroom. But anyway, the particular thought that occured to me was this: My kids (always assuming the optimistic view that I will one day have them) will very likely live their entire lives in a world where Mick Jagger is not alive and touring with The Stones. How many generations has it been since anyone could say that? I mean my grandfather, who was born in 1913 for godsake!, lived in a Stones universe. Alright, just a thought, go on an' get back to whatever you were doing.
posted by LT2 11:17 AM ET | discuss | link
Face it, Booz-Allen, you're a buncha Losers!(The opinion expressed above is solely that of the individual, and does not necessarily represent the views of SAIC.)
posted by MES 1:56 AM ET | discuss | link
It's Wednesday (on the East Coast, anyway) and so it's time for a new screed from the Angry Pen. This week... The Angry Pen vs. Low Fidelity.
posted by MES 12:00 AM ET | discuss | link
Tuesday, May 02, 2000
On this gays in the Boy Scouts issue... two things1. Sexuality, of any kind, is an inappropriate issue for 13-year-old Boy Scouts to be discussing in any context. Whatever happened to knot-tying and wood-working? Personally, I think anyone who makes an issue of their sexuality (whatever it is) in a Boy Scout meeting should be removed from the organization immediately. I don't care if you're gay or straight, but keep it to yourself if you want to be involved in the Boys Scouts. If it's none of my business, it's sure as hell none of my son's business. I'd like to know how this came up in the first place.
and...
2. How can the Government (i.e. The Supreme Court) tell a private organization that it must allow gays into their ranks, when it has already upheld the Military's (a Government organization) right to exlude them? Or am I remembering this incorrectly?
posted by LT2 8:41 PM ET | discuss | link
Anyone who has not yet seen the President Clinton self-parody that Schwartzie linked to (see 2 posts down), should check it out. It is extremely funny. For the first time in seven years, I have to admit a grudging respect for the cajones on this man who has been such an embarrasment as President.
posted by LT2 6:55 PM ET | discuss | link
Very silly...
posted by MES 4:53 PM ET | discuss | link
The White House Video from the Correspondent's Dinner is online at cnn.com.
posted by MES 4:30 PM ET | discuss | link
The following message was just sent out by our computer department..."New York has confirmed that the WANG is back up."
Now, I don't wanna tell these guys their job, but there's was never anything wrong with my WANG.
posted by LT2 2:05 PM ET | discuss | link
Hey, I just found out that the traffic camera on the roof of my building is now on the web. It's a little dark, but hey...
posted by MES 1:00 PM ET | discuss | link
Here's a question... actually, Howard Stern made this point this morning, though in a slightly different way. Even though few consumers ever complained about Microsoft's products and no consumers were ever hurt in any way by Microsoft's actions, the Government is spending millions of dollars going after Microsoft's supposed monopoly in a misguided legal effort that will hurt more consumers in the long run that bundling Internet Explorer with Windows ever did. Given these facts, why is the Government continuing to turn a blind eye to cable monopolies when their business practices routinely deny consumers access to channels they want to see and, in some extreme cases, can actually lead to major networks being pulled off the air in the country's largest media markets. Anyone still believe that John McCain is wrong about the influence of money on public policy? The bottom line, Netscape has money and lobbyists, cable consumer advocacy groups do not.
posted by LT2 12:11 PM ET | discuss | link
Gun Scare Disrupts Baltimore Airport Interesting incident. What I'd like to know is this: How often do security checkpoints actually catch somebody with a gun? Anybody know?
posted by MES 1:50 AM ET | discuss | link
Let this be a lesson to you... If you're going to criticize grammar, make sure yours is flawless... or at least don't send it to Cecil, from The Straight Dope.
posted by MES 1:23 AM ET | discuss | link
Monday, May 01, 2000
Check out this article on my Dad's troubles in Haiti. Finally somebody gets it right. I don't know why the press only decides it has to be fair and impartial to both sides, even if one side is obviously corrupt, when it comes to my poor Dad, but the "legitimate" press has bent over backwards to give the Haitian "kleptocracy" the benefit of the doubt, always at the expense of a guy who's done nothing but good things for one of the most wretched corners of this here Earth. Anyway, this is the real story. Enjoy.
posted by LT2 8:07 PM ET | discuss | link
I don't lose things. Really. I'm not one of those people who lose things. So how on Earth did I manage to lose my contact lens case? And where's a good place to get a new one?
posted by MES 6:23 PM ET | discuss | link
Good news for fans of the Fox show Action! According to the Post, Fox is shipping the show off to the FX network, which in June will be showing all thirteen episodes (including five that have never aired).
posted by MES 2:22 PM ET | discuss | link
I'm surprised that I haven't seen anyone mention how similar this whole Giuliani-Cancer thing is to something that happened on an episode of Seinfeld.
posted by MES 1:37 PM ET | discuss | link
Will the Real President Please Stand Up? Here's a report on Saturday's White House Correspondent's dinner. The video they talk about sounds particularly funny. (I saw a brief clip from it, but I'd like to see the whole thing.) West Wing fans will be interested, as it talks a lot about the show.
posted by MES 1:29 PM ET | discuss | link
Tip to George W. Bush, from the Laaz. George, if you wanna win the election by a landslide... during the first debate, when the moderator asks for your opening statement, make a big show of looking over at the other combatants (I assume they will be Gore and the Reform guy whomever that winds up being) and, in a Monty Burnsian voice say... "I specifically said no geeks."
posted by LT2 11:45 AM ET | discuss | link
You know what would be funny?Ridley Scott directs... ELIAN!
posted by LT2 9:25 AM ET | discuss | link
Sunday, April 30, 2000
Here's a fun little game. It kinda looks like Tetris, and could be as addictive as Freecell... (via identity)
posted by MES 11:13 PM ET | discuss | link
"If the snake restaurant was too expensive, my friends told me, we would go for dog. Buttressed by a favorable exchange rate, I was hoping for snake."Well, of course this weekend the newspapers are full of articles about Vietnam, but most of them are about the fall of Saigon, and aren't really travel-related. Here's one that is: NOTED WITH: A Hearty Appetite.
Also, here's a humorous article about one of the reporters who traveled there last week to cover John McCain's visit, but ran into some bureaucratic troubles.
posted by MES 3:34 PM ET | discuss | link
As a history buff--and in particular, as a Vietnam/Cold War-era history buff--I can't wait to see 13 Days. Gonna be amazing... I hope. It the story of the 13 days between when U2 spy planes spotted the missiles in Cuba and when the Soviets finally blinked at the American blockade and turned their warships around. Early prediction, whomever plays Adlai Stevenson (can't remember who it is right now) will be nominated for best suppporting actor. I read the script and h's got one really awe-inspiring scene near the end.
posted by LT2 1:56 PM ET | discuss | link
Good article in the LA Times on Saturday about the Vietnamese Central Highlands. Apparently, the original idea was to keep the area exclusive by keeping tourism prices in the region high. But travelers are choosing the cheaper coastal cities exclusively and nobody out near Pleiku (big war scene by the way) is getting any tourism biz. What I learned from the atricle that interested me in particular is that the Central Highlands are one of the few remaining natural Tiger and Elephant habitats in Asia. That's pretty cool.Also, I've seen some pictures of Halong Bay. Really cool stuff. Reminds me of taking those little boats around the cliff caves in Sorrento. Except you paddle around in two-man canoes and the caves are in these gigantic pillars of rock that just stick right up out of the middle of the water. We might have to do that!
posted by LT2 1:41 PM ET | discuss | link
I would like to officially endorse the first three quarters of Frequency. There were a couple of moments where I was able to step back for a second and realize how complete involved I was in the story. I didn't even mind the sappy father-son stuff. In fact, I enjoyed that aspect of the film much more than I thought I would. But, (and I'll mask the spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. Drag your mouse over the text to read it) starting from around the point where Dennis Quaid is beaten up by the serial killer in the bathroom and definitely from the point where Dennis Quaid escapes from the police station, it just got too silly for me. And that sappy ending! But otherwise, a really, really enjoyable film.I was watching Ebert this weekend (which airs here at 4 in the morning-- thank God for TiVo!) and the cohost was talking about logical flaws in the time travel aspect. She said something to the effect of, "at one point Caviezel's past gets ahead of him" or something, and Ebert said he knew exactly what she was talking about, but I don't. Can anyone help me out?
Saw the following trailers: Titan AE, The Cell, 15 Minutes, 13 Days, Gladiator, and (ugh!) Battlefield Earth. Unfortunately, it was hard to concentrate on the first four trailers since the projectionist didn't have the anamorphic lens on, so they were in "long-torso vision". 13 Days, especially, was hard to follow, since it depended heavily on titles which were being projected underneath the screen. I think I saw Kevin Costner in there, and I know it had something to do with the Bay of Pigs, but that's about it. Oh well.
posted by MES 1:36 PM ET | discuss | link
In this week's "Roger Ebert's The Great Movies," he examines Raiders of the Lost Ark.
posted by MES 1:26 PM ET | discuss | link
I saw High Fidelity over the weekend. I liked it quite a bit. Helped to know going in that it wasn't a fall-down-laughing kind of comedy... except when Jack Black was involved of course. Strangely, my favorite line of the movie was not spoken by John Cusack or Jack Black but by the girl who played Laura, and it was... "OK, We have a 9 percent chance of getting back together." Also, I'm thinking about writing a paper on the importance of music in the films of John Cusack.The above constitutes an official endorsement of the movie by Laaz.
posted by LT2 1:23 PM ET | discuss | link
