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Friday, May 26, 2000
Mike discovered a somewhat bizarre cross-section of humanity recently... guys and gals (OK, let's be honest... it's mostly guys) who are turned on by folks who wear really thick glasses. And then today, he discovered an even sillier subset called GOC's (Glasses Over Contacts). These dudes wear contacts which purposefully screw up their vision, so that they then have to wear really, incredibly thick glasses to correct their vision. They then use this "look" to pick up chicks who wear glasses for the more-typical reasons. But, as you might expect, no legitimate doctor would ever prescribe for one of these nutsos, the necessary accoutrements and so, they need a support system. Here is a brief look into their world.A favorite sample from one of the chat boards: "I looked at her glasses, and while they were in a large sized frame, and fairly heavily gradient tinted, I could tell I had a special lady."
posted by LT2 2:53 PM ET | discuss | link
Bet you didn't know that in 212 BC, Archimedes used a death ray to incinerate the Roman fleet at Syracuse. All I really know about Archimedes is that it was his idea that if the Greeks were to score a goal, they would likely defeat the Germans in their classic soccer match-up.
posted by LT2 2:30 PM ET | discuss | link
Eeeeeeewwww!
posted by LT2 2:19 PM ET | discuss | link
Not Just Cows:Pretty funny, and interesting from a sociological point of view (i.e. proof that there are fanatics for every subject).
posted by LT2 2:17 PM ET | discuss | link
It could be Franky. It could be very fresh and clean, it could be.
posted by MES 1:57 PM ET | discuss | link
Some people name their pianos frankie.
posted by LT2 1:13 PM ET | discuss | link
Thursday, May 25, 2000
If you make a smootchie sound one hundred times. That's one smootch for every year of the new century.
posted by LT2 7:46 PM ET | discuss | link
You know what the scariest part of the old saying "beating a dead horse" is to me? It's that at some point in human history, this sort of thing must have occured quite often, or else the saying wouldn't make sense to anyone.
posted by LT2 2:13 PM ET | discuss | link
Squirrel Tails are fuzzy.
posted by LT2 2:10 PM ET | discuss | link
So, I was just reading this article about missingmoney.com, so I thought I would try it out, and much to my surprise, I have some sort of unclaimed Certificate of Deposit in my name for some amount over $100. (They break the claims down into under and over $100, so I have no idea how much it is.) So, I'm sending off my claim, and within 4 to 6 weeks, I'll get my money. So head on over there, look yourself up, and see if you've got some money comin' to ya!
posted by MES 11:58 AM ET | discuss | link
I miss the era of the big clipper ships.
posted by LT2 11:52 AM ET | discuss | link
Wednesday, May 24, 2000
Had a great day at Busch Gardens with Andrew today. As always, we chose to go on a weekday before the kiddies get out of school, and the park was empty. Every single rollercoaster was a walk-on for the middle cars, a one-to-three train wait for the front and back. This was my first time riding Apollo's Chariot, and I have to say it is absolutely everything they say it is. I absolutely loved it. (And I certainly enjoyed it more than Fabio did.) Rode it seven or eight times. My favorite seat by far is the last row, left-most seat.Luckily, we didn't get any of the thunderstorms that were predicted. (I suppose it's possible to enjoy your visit anyway, but I'd rather not find out firsthand.) The high was almost 90, though. But we coped with that by riding the Roman Rapids around 11:00, which left us thoroughly soaked, and cool, for several hours to come.
I could go on about my visit, but I won't. I'll just sum up by saying we rode pretty much everything. Big Bad Wolf twice, Nessie 3 times, Alpengeist 4 times, Apollo's Chariot 7 times, bumper cars 3 times (one ride that really suffers from an empty park), Roman Rapids once, Escape from Pompeii once, Flying Machine once, Da Vinci's Cradle once, Le Mans once (Andrew's description: "it's like Pod Racers, only it sucks"), log flume once, train once, skyride once. Ate lunch at the Festhaus, of course.
Oh, one last pointless link: this is what Busch Gardens looks like from above.
posted by MES 11:23 PM ET | discuss | link
This is really funny. Last week Lars and I discussed Millionaire cheaters. Well, it turns out they're not cheating. Check this clip out. It's hilarious: "Uh...let me think... posted by MES 10:10 PM ET | discuss | link". The audience reaction is funny too.
Just found this in one of my archives. It's an Angry Pen letter I wrote to ESPN.COM.Enjoy!
Here's an idea. Let's say you want to see what the New San Diego Padres uniform looks like...well you can't. Not on this site anyway. Why not do this: If a web-surfer links to an individual team's page on ESPN.COM through the MLB, NFL, NHL, etc. links, why not add a mock-up of the team's various uniforms in the upper left hand corner right next to the team logo, for them to see.With marketing becoming a larger and larger force in sports each day, teams are changing their uniform look, it often seems, on a weekly basis. We fans need a quick and easy way to keep up with these changes.
But what the hell do I know...I'm just some Schmo from LA who's too lazy to go web-surfing anywhere else.
Lars Theriot
posted by LT2 8:12 PM ET | discuss | link
Bill Zwecker of the Chicago Sun Times: "The only mission impossible here is staying awake."Turn! Dodge! Parry! Ha-HA!!!
posted by LT2 7:11 PM ET | discuss | link
Now, normally, I wouldn't give Harry Knowles this much credit, but hey! I'm desperate. Says Senor Asskissio, "This film (M:i-2) reminded me of The World is not Enough and Goldeneye in it’s lack of coherent or compelling plot and character. The sheer enormity of it’s blasé dentist waiting room pacing." And "Personally, I recommend bringing your palm pilot to the movie. You might as well accomplish something with your life for the first hour of this film." And it only gets worse from there.The geeks have now weighed in and the weight ain't good.
posted by LT2 6:13 PM ET | discuss | link
Daily Variety: "Even more empty a luxury vehicle than its predecessor, M:i-2 pushes the envelope in terms of just how much flashy packaging an audience will buy when there's absolutely nada inside."
posted by LT2 1:42 PM ET | discuss | link
Alright fans, time to see if you're out there. I (Laaz) will be traveling to South Louisiana in June for my Uncle Al's yearly snapper fishing trip in the Gulf of Mexico. This trip amounts to, truly, the best time a man can have outside of a liquor-licensed strip club. Anyway, here's the deal. I could, if the interest exists, document said fishing trip in the fashion of a mini-Tri-Llama Travelogue. Does this interest anyone? Or would I be wasting my time? Time to sound off guys! And let me know early, cause this is likely to involve me standing around on a boat, on two 100-plus degree days, in the middle of a shade-less ocean for hours at a time and I am not going to want to wear a shirt very much. So if I'm going to do this, my frequency at the gym is going to need to increase substantially.
posted by LT2 11:51 AM ET | discuss | link
Alright alright, so maybe I'm wrong on the M:i-2 thing. Sheesh! I'm just tellin' you what I heard!
posted by LT2 11:43 AM ET | discuss | link
Another one rolls in, Stephen Hunter from the Post: 'M:I-2' Will Woo You.
posted by MES 12:04 AM ET | discuss | link
Fire up the Way-Back Machine because this week we get a glimpse at a very early Angry Pen, as he takes on Social Security.
posted by MES 12:00 AM ET | discuss | link
Tuesday, May 23, 2000
Hmmm, I'm starting to question Lars' sources, as another positive review of M:i-2 comes in, this time from Mr. Showbiz.
posted by MES 11:51 PM ET | discuss | link
I think this Circuit City ad is funny. Particularly the final frame. Enjoy.
posted by LT2 7:02 PM ET | discuss | link
Aw yeah... I don't know about all 'a youse. But I'd like to be the one to research the answer to this one.
posted by LT2 12:01 PM ET | discuss | link
Little early on the "What not to see and why" article, but since M:i-2 opens tomorrow, I chose today over Friday.Oh boy, the bad reviews of M:i-2 keep rolling in. Berardinelli's is the best I've seen so far. I had two people tell me, just yesterday, that it's not a Mission: Impossible movie in that, all the fun of the team on a mission is gone, making this the Tom Cruise show. Two more people confirmed the "the first hour made me want to kill myself" review. Still another contradicted Berardinelli and said, "This is not a John Woo Film. This is a Tom Cruise film in which Tom allowed Woo to put in a few of his signature touches." And on and on. I think I will be skipping this one at this point. I don't want to take the shine off Face/Off.
Plus, I made a promise to myself after Devil's Own that never again would I pay to see a film that started shooting without a script.
Instead, I will be seeing Shanghai Noon. The new extended commercial trailers are really making me laugh. I think Owen Wilson's deadpan is going to be funny as hell (whereas Chris Tucker's bulging eyed loud-ness was just... loud). I'm also getting the feeling that there's a lot more ass-kicking than I originally thought.
And as for Gone in 60 Seconds (which doesn't open for a couple of weeks, I know, but I saw the commercial again last night and it got me thinking). The luster is definitely wearing off this one for me. First of all, I was thinking, at first, that Nicolas Cage was a good thing, now I'm asking myself why I ever thought that. He's really starting to annoy me in those ads. And as for car chases... there's a reason most movies only have one. I don't know if I can take two hours of them interrupted only by poorly scripted lines about how stealing cars is better than sex. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and predict that at least one "clever" one-liner will use the "stick shift" as sexual innuendo.
Interesting fact about 60 Seconds: Apparently, this is a remake.
One more M:i-2 quote, from my buddy G. Wigand: "Robert Towne took the thirty pieces of silver and phoned it in."
posted by LT2 11:51 AM ET | discuss | link
Berardinelli has posted his 3-star review of M:i-2.This is most definitely "a John Woo film."
posted by MES 12:14 AM ET | discuss | link
Monday, May 22, 2000
What is with all these puppets? In addition to Triumph, the pets.com dog, Flat Eric, and Greg the Bunny, now Domino's gives us:
Bad Andy?Where will it end?!?
posted by MES 9:32 PM ET | discuss | link
This is NOT an Onion article.
posted by LT2 9:02 PM ET | discuss | link
You know, some people are depressed about Rudy Giuliani leaving the senate race in NY. They say that now Hilary will get into the Senate for sure and we'll never be rid of her. But being the "glass-half-full" kinda guy I am, I say we've got something to look forward too. What if Lazio wins!? Can you imagine anything more humiliating than being the First Lady of the United States and losing a Senate race to a guy who entered the campaign with only 6 months to go?Lazio's announcement speech talked about how he has served NY for years and years and how Hilary is nothing but an opportunistic carpetbagger. Her response to the charge? "I've visited all 62 counties in NY." Great Hilary, I had a Bass Ale Friday night. But that don't make me British! God I hate that woman.
Oh wait! You know who she is? She's Tracy Flick from Election. Oh man, so perfect!!! That's exactly why I can't stand her.
posted by LT2 11:13 AM ET | discuss | link
The 1090's got whupped last night, 4-0. Man did it suck. We went down 1-0 early on an own goal from one of our fullbacks. Couple minutes later, I tried to beat one of their female strikers to a loose ball. She got their frist, used my momentum to toast me in the other direction and nailed one from fifteen yards. So now we need goals quick. I start playing transition, but now that I'm running a lot more, I need subs more often. And before long, without me in the backfield, it's 4-0 with no chance for a come-back. About the only highlight was, as we were leaving, our captain Mike says, "I'd like to make a suggestion. Lars seems to be the lynch-pin of our fortunes here, so I say he plays D-fense full time from now on." Somebody else pipes up with "I'll go one better. I say Lars shouldn't have to sub out at all." Everyone cheered "yes", and without even realizing it, I managed to negotiate myself a no-sub policy. Whoo-hoo!Still sucked though.
posted by LT2 10:51 AM ET | discuss | link
Sunday, May 21, 2000
Discovered this on IFC this morning. None of these is the one I saw. I saw a take-off on a French art film. There's a lot about this that I found absolutely hysterical, though nothing made me bark laughter out loud or roll around on the floor clutching my stomach or anything. This is in the vein of the dog from the Pets.com commercials and is called... Greg The Bunny.P.S. His friend Marvin is maybe a little funnier than Greg is.
posted by LT2 3:28 PM ET | discuss | link
Hey, I just discovered by accident that if I hold CTRL and roll my mousewheel, it adjusts the font size in my browser (IE 5.01). Cool! Especially since I run at 1280x1024 and one of the current trends in blogs is to use really tiny font sizes.Update: Apparently, this has been true since IE 4.
posted by MES 12:15 PM ET | discuss | link
