 |
Weblog
|
Travelogues
|
Photo Essays
|
TheAngryPen
|
Friday, June 30, 2000
Classic prank phone call. My buddy Mark discovered this when we were in college at Syracuse. We used to listen to this in his room just about every night before we would go out drinking, and several of the lines... most notably "Please try to pay attention" and "you do sound serious" and "At the putty division, just north of Odessa", became commonly used phrases in our conversational vocabulary.
posted by LT2 3:19 PM ET | discuss | link
Almost forgot my box-office report for this weekend. A big one this. We got The Perfect Storm, which seems to be buzzing the way Twister did. Stunning visually (my colleague's comments about "Dr. Terror's House of Wax Horrors" aside, of course), but with zero in the way of story. Kinda like an A&E "Nature's Fury" documentary, with scant human characters who only exist to be tossed around by the fury for our own entertainment.The Patriot, for those of you hoping for Braveheart 2, sounds like it might be headed more in the direction of National Lampoon's Braveheart 2. With silly lines like "May I sit here?" "It's a free country... or at least it will be." I wouldn't count on being inspired by this one, but I'll still see it for the runnings-through and de-limbings that I know the battle scenes will be steeped in.
And even though I haven't seen it yet, I'd recommend Chicken Run. Those little clay goof-balls just crack me up.
posted by LT2 2:35 PM ET | discuss | link
I found this thread from the TiVo forum to be quite entertaining.
posted by MES 1:43 PM ET | discuss | link
Hey!The Laaz threw a dinner party last night... How hopelessly domestic of me. Adam, Steph, Ryan, Tony, and Tela came by for samples of the snapper I pulled out of the ocean my little ole self on Friday morning. A good time, and a bit of drink were had by all. Thanks for coming everybody, and thanks for giving me an opportunity to practice "entertaining" (not to mention cleaning my apartment, which I think I do with even less regularity).
By the by, I improvised a pretty good sauce for the fish if anyone is interested. I poured about half a bottle of white wine into a sauce pan, added some lemon juice (until the wine was cloudy), dill weed, Old Bay Cajun seasonings, garlic, and one tablespoon of very good (read: Zattarain's) cracked peppercorn and vinegar mustard. Then brought it to a boil and it and stirred it up until it was well mixed.
Very tasty.
posted by LT2 12:05 PM ET | discuss | link
When was the last time you saw (or thought about) the movie Dead Again? If you're like me, and I know I am, it's been a while, and James Berardinelli's recent 4-star review of the video might inspire you to go check it out.
posted by MES 11:33 AM ET | discuss | link
Okay, now I'm really annoyed. It turns out my post below is incorrect. The Post actually put a yellow traffic light, not a red, but my browser is displaying it incorrectly. Could those of you with IE 5 please tell me what you see here:
It's supposed to be an animated graphic that goes red-yellow-green-red-yellow-green-red-yellow, and stays on yellow. I know this used to work fine on my browser, but now it's not. It's just showing red, without any animation. So, if you IE users could let me know what you see, what browser version you're running, and what OS you're running, I'd appreciate it.
posted by MES 1:08 AM ET | discuss | link
Okay, I've got a minor bone to pick with the folks over at washingtonpost.com, so bear with me here. See, I've been checking out the reviews for the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie, and have been surprised at how positive they've been. But, unless you look carefully, you might think that the Post's reviewer didn't like it. See, every week, on the page that links you to the actual movie review, they have a little summary that includes a brief quote from the review and a little trafficlight showing "red" for a bad review, "green" for a good review, etc. Well, this week, on that page they quote reviewer Michael O'Sullivan as saying "The plot – insane, inane and illogical." and they show a "red" light. Well, here's the last paragraph from his review:After so many cartoon-to-film flops ("The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas" comes most immediately to mind), "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle" is a modest sip of bliss. The animation is first-rate, the acting over the top without ever losing its footing and the old-fashioned esprit of the original survives the transition to celluloid intact if tempered with a dash of modernity (faxes, e-mail and a very funny parody of the "Cops" TV show figure prominently). But best of all and bless its silly little heart, "Rocky and Bullwinkle" never asks its target audience of self-referential baby boomers and their littles bundles of joy to take it more seriously than it takes itself.Sound like a negative review to you?
posted by MES 12:39 AM ET | discuss | link
Thursday, June 29, 2000
posted by MES 11:07 PM ET | discuss | link
This is along the same lines as the video of the cat slamming into the wall. Keep your eye on the kid in the back.Takes a while to load, but damn funny.
posted by LT2 9:12 PM ET | discuss | link
Chin Music...... would be a great name for a movie.
posted by LT2 7:58 PM ET | discuss | link
Check out our new feature, as suggested by Lars earlier today. To save you the trouble of slogging through our Chat Board looking for interesting posts, we've highlighted some of the threads we find most interesting. Just look over there in the left-hand column, all the way at the bottom, for our Hot Chat Topics. And while you're there, why dontcha contribute something, ya lazy bastard!!!
posted by MES 7:33 PM ET | discuss | link
Somehow it worries me that if we were to actually tape a greetings message for alien lifeforms that would be truly representative of the human race, it would probably go something like this.
posted by LT2 5:57 PM ET | discuss | link
There's a teaser trailer for Pearl Harbor up on this site I've never heard of (z.com or something). Anyway, check it out. There's some cool shee-ot in it!
posted by LT2 3:15 PM ET | discuss | link
I just read this on the TiVo forum, and thought it was humorous:hey just remember, 49% of the people out there are below averagemy girlfriend reminded me of this yesterday when she checked in for jury duty. everyone was sent a card that said 'a - call this # to see if you have to show up...b - if you have to show up, park in the area marked 'xyz'...c - check in with the sign up officer on arrival'. half the people there hadnt called first and werent required to be there. a quarter of the remaining people hadnt parked in the proper area. a half dozen hadnt checked in so had already been marked 'not responding to jury summons'. and just think, these folks are out there driving cars and reproducing...
posted by MES 2:54 PM ET | discuss | link
The background on this one is that my buddy Dave's wife Lesley reviews films for Showbizdata.com. She reviewed Chicken Run this past week and got quite a funny letter of complaint in response. Here's the letter (stick with it, it's long but funny), and a link to the review, so you can read the source material.(All spelling and grammar mistakes are Mr. Ballou's... of course)
To whom it may concern:
After visiting your site for two months reading the headlines and reviews, I have come to an unfavorable decision concerning one film reviewer, Lesley Jacobs.
What brought me over the edge was her review of "Chicken Run". She states, "Perhaps it's that chickens don't leap to one's mind as being funny animals. Monkeys sure, ostriches absolutely, but chickens?" My feeling as well as the directors feelings and anyone I've asked for three consequtive days all agree that chickens are inherently funny. A few examples include, the classic comic gag of the rubber chicken from the 1930's, Gonzo of the Muppets weird obsession with chickens, Looney Tunes use of roosters and chickens, and the chicken hawk, Gary Larson's comics often depicted chickens whose style shows up a bit in Nick Park's animations. Not to mention, chickens are a bird that cannot fly, are often domesticated, or breed to lay eggs, golden eggs... WHAT IS NOT FUNNY ABOUT CHICKENS... What could be funnier than cutting off the head of a chicken and see it still running around, like Peter Jackson's "Meet the Feebles" finale scene.
It would be appreciated that you do not allow her to review any film (she may review movies), they go above and beyond her patience for viewing. Her punishment should be to sit through a Peter Greenaway film marathon starting with "The Baby of Macon".
Best regards,
Jeffrey BallouLet me know if you need clarification between a film & movie?
posted by LT2 2:24 PM ET | discuss | link
The Angry Pen has moved to Thursdays, so here is this week's inventive invective: Lyrical Assault.
posted by MES 12:00 AM ET | discuss | link
Wednesday, June 28, 2000
Most of the agents I've spoken to did not like The Perfect Storm very much.My favorite comment was "It's like Dr. Terror's house of horrors. The last forty minutes is Mark Wahlberg and George Clooney screaming at each other while production assistants throw buckets of water against the windows."
posted by LT2 6:27 PM ET | discuss | link
Exciting news...Well, sorta. I started a major debt cutting effort one year ago today. I have three credit cards. Paid one down to $0 six months ago. Just paid the last dollar off the second card minutes ago. And my total debt is down 73% from this time last year.
Whoo-hooo!!!
posted by LT2 2:45 PM ET | discuss | link
Tuesday, June 27, 2000
Boy, I guess they'll print anything on this site:Here's a little article fantasizing about what it might have been like if Scott Nor-"wide" had become Scott Nor-"good" all those years ago... written by my now world-famous buddy Scott Weinstein.
It's nice to see the word "Buffalonian" in print. This being a word that, for quite some time, Adam and I believed we'd made up. And we did not use it as a source of civic pride for an otherwise put-upon city. We used it as a joke, a little poke at all the nuts we knew from Boo-Foo. About halfway through Scott's little fantasty here, I started to say to myself..., "This is all well-and-good Scott, but what happens when the first 50 mile-per-hour gust of 30 below wind swoops down off lake Ontario and hits Donald Trump's exposed cheeks as he digs his BMW out from under an 8-foot snow drift"... and then Scott made that logical leap for me.
Nice work ScottyD.
Although I will say this, as much as I love to make fun of that godforsaken city, there are few things better than Duff's Buffalo Wings, and they will remain, forever after, a reason to travel to the city whose motto should become "Buffalo... what you get when Hell actually does freeze-over."
posted by LT2 12:26 PM ET | discuss | link
I have a problem. Items for the blog, stories, chat posts, and Pens pop into my head all day long, but often they leave just as quickly, never to be thought again. I carry a pad with me, but when you're walking down the street--OK, who am I kidding--when you're driving around town, that's an inconvenient way to record your thoughts. Maybe it's time to invest in one of those little hand recorders that you can just speak a line or two into and then erase conveniently when you get where you're going. Digital, no tape. Anyone got any good ideas or suggestions for particular product lines?
posted by LT2 12:15 PM ET | discuss | link
Hey kids, good news. For the first time in a long time, The Pen spotted something in the LA Times (El Tiempo) that pissed him off but good. Can't wait 'till Thursday so you can all hear about it. See you then!In the meantime, here is the article in question... you know, just in case you'd like to grease yourself up and get ready for T.A.P.
posted by LT2 12:01 PM ET | discuss | link
Radio commercials! Some of them are really annoying, and there's way too many of them! (Actually, this doesn't bother me that much as, for some reason, nearly all radio listening has dropped from my life. But I do appreciate the sentiment. I've heard my share of commercials that made me lunge for those preset buttons!)
posted by MES 9:54 AM ET | discuss | link
Monday, June 26, 2000
George Will is not all that amazingly interesting here, but this piece of text from a British government report on the pros and cons of fox hunting is pretty hard to beat:"There is a lack of firm scientific evidence about the effect on the welfare of a fox of being closely pursued, caught and killed above ground by hounds. We are satisfied, nevertheless, that this experience seriously compromises the welfare of the fox."
Love those Brits.
posted by LT2 4:25 PM ET | discuss | link
I HATE MOSQUITOS!!!That's right folks... The Laaz is back!!! I took one hundred pictures of South Louisiana and the various wildlife (some living; most dead) contained therein. Between Schwartz and I, we will soon have a brand new Tri-Llama Travelogue up on the web. Stay tuned.
Oh by the way, did I mention that I HATE MOSQUITOS!!!
posted by LT2 11:34 AM ET | discuss | link
