Well folks, there ain't a lot to see between LA and Phoenix. But fortunately,
we knew that going in, so from the very beginning, we thought of today as a day
for getting as much road past the ole' undercarriage as possible. So, after
posing for a quick pic with our vehicle, we were off. We blasted across
California in about 2 and a half hours, stopping only twice (but taking
several pictures of roadside kitsch along the way), once for breakfast at a
McDonalds (which happens to be exactly one hundred miles to the foot from the
curb outside Lars' apartment), and once at the exit for a State Prison ("Don't
pick up hitchhikers" they cheerfully advised) so that Lars could release
some escapees of his own.
Most of early Arizona was boring, too. We did manage to get a picture of
the "Welcome to Arizona" sign 
(which mocked us for not being able to visit
the Grand Canyon, the first destination everyone we know asked us if we were
going to visit). Things got a little more interesting once we got to Phoenix.
We decided to visit Tempe, where Lars had been once before on a trip to the
Grand Canyon with Dave Solmonson several years ago. Tempe, being the home of
the ASU Sundevils, was a blast all those years ago, but with all the
youngsters home for the holidays, Tempe was as dead as some of the animals
we saw lying by the side of the highway. So we took a few quick pictures of
Sun Devil Stadium and environs, then headed off for Tucson, and the Saguaro
Cacti therein.
We got within striking distance of Saguaro National Park at about five p.m.,
and immediately wished we hadn't stopped in Tempe. See, we had about 15 miles
to go once we left the highway, according to Mike's computer-assisted navigation,
and it was getting dark fast. Fortunately,
guests are allowed inside the park after dark, and knowing that in advance,
we didn't give up on it. Boy did that pay off. Basically, this park is just
jam-packed with these enormous cacti. Some reach as high as fifty feet in
height. We got some great pictures as the sun was going down. As you look
at them, keep in mind that most of them are more than 100 years old and some
are as old as 200 years. The trunks are so big, you couldn't put your arms
around them, which is probably just as well, considering the fact that they
ARE cacti, after all.
We left the park just after it got completely dark, and headed up into the
mountains (a short-cut to Tucson). After going only a few miles, Lars got
pulled over by an Arizona State Policeman for going 50 in a 35 (which Lars
calls "a goddamn lie"). But, after the
requisite period of scolding and admonishments not to speed ever, ever
again…Lars' streak of traffic pull-overs without a ticket remains intact!
Nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nah!
We continued on to Tucson, stopping at a scenic overlook. It was pitch
black out, so as we pulled up, we didn't realize that there were several
Native Americans there beating drums and chanting to the dying sun. It
scared the piss out of me at first cause I didn't know what the hell was
going on, but once I realized we were not in mortal Deliverance-esque danger,
it turned out
to be very cool. Almost like a time warp. (We have audio of the chanting
and recommend you listen to it while looking at the pictures of the cacti.)
We headed on into Tucson from there, following the helpful cop's directions
to the local fast food strip near the University of Arizona, finally settling
on KFC (man are we gonna have to start looking for healthier alternatives!).
After dinner, it being only 7:30, we decided to hump it on down to Benson,
Arizona, deep in the heart of Cochise County (as in, "Hey! where ya goin' with
that gun, Cochise?"), which puts us about 25 miles from Tombstone, site of the
famous Gunfight at the OK Corral which, we understand, we are gonna have to
pay to see. Ah Capitalism…don't you just love it?
Tomorrow… Tombstone: "The Town Too Tough to Die", maybe some caverns, and Fort Crackton…uh…sorry, that
should read Fort Stockton.
And now. . . Silliness.
Fifteen minutes on the road, and already a bad omen.
How 'bout that... You don't even have to leave L.A. to see roadside kitsch.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Which is bigger: the Phoenix Suns' stadium... or my teeth?
You can't get away from this goddamn Pokemon!
Lars flirts with certain doom.
See, we told you they were big!
Lars' Severed Head was found impaled on one of the cacti...
The body was discovered moments later.
