Day 5: Wednesday 22 Dec 1999
New Orleans, LA to Tuscaloosa, AL - 334 Miles
(Posted 10:15 PM CST on 22 Dec 1999)

We engineered about 24 hours of New Orleans into our trip so we could enjoy the city, and we woke up this morning prepared to do just that. But before we get into that, let's talk about the freakin' weather. I can't remember a single time, in 28 years of visiting New Orleans, when I walked around the city in anything more than shorts and a t-shirt. This time, however, it was so cold I wore a sweater, a scarf, and inserted the fleece lining into my leather jacket, and the cold still cut through me like a knife. Even today, after the sun finally came out, it took a while for the city to warm up. Just take a look at Schwartz holding on to his hot chocolate with gloved hands in a desperate search for a glimmer of warmth. But we did brave the cold so that Mike could enjoy the world-famous beignets at the Café Du Monde. Our last stop in the Quarter was Pirate Alley, which doesn't really live up to its ominous name in this picture, but trust us, it looks a lot creepier at night. After walking around a little more, we decided to go see the Superdome. See, the Saints haven't been playing that well lately (actually, they haven't been playing that well for 32 years, but we won't get into that here), and we thought that if Coach Ditka could just see what we could do, he would sign us right up. The only snag in our plan was that we forgot to bring a football, so, as you'll see in this picture, we had to improvise. We bid the Superdome a fond adieu, and headed off to the Garden District to meet Jimmy at his office. The area is characterized by large plantation-style houses on either side of St. Charles Avenue, a wide road with a median down which old-style streetcars still deliver passengers from one end of the city to the other. Jimmy took us down River Road, out of the city to a small sandwich joint called Southern Po-Boy's. A Po-Boy is a sandwich on hard French bread, typically served with some sort of meat, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise. Jimmy got fried oysters, Lars got fried shrimp, and Mike got roast beef. Best line of the day: Jimmy asked the surly guy behind the counter what came with the Po-Boys. He said, "French Fries." Jimmy asked if they were frozen. The guy thought about it for a minute and said, "Well, they won't be when you get 'em." Lunch behind us, we dropped Jimmy back at work and blew out of town, headed north toward Mississippi. Goodbye, New Orleans. See ya next time! We found Mississippi to be very inhospitable; the rest areas don't even have rest rooms. Given that we went through 170 miles of Mississippi and at least three 100%-bathroom-free rest areas, we figure this must be some sort of state policy... which can't be good for tourism, and certainly wasn't good for us. We were never so excited to see the Alabama border. Alabama, our seventh new state, is where we will spend the night tonight... Tuscaloosa, to be exact. And tomorrow, we will sample whatever culture Alabama has to offer (if any).   And now. . . Misc-Silliness. Lars ponders the age old question: can a grown man fit an entire beignet into his mouth? Being away from the gym for a week has really affected Lars. Poor bastard can't even crank a penny-stamping machine. Quel terrible! Lars' Severed Head is spotted in the French Quarter. The body was discovered moments later. I need two more days, M. I can achieve the objective, but you've got to GIVE ME TIME! You can't go to sleep yet, Lars. We have to update the web site!

On to Day Six...