Well kids, cross-country '99 is almost over. We're in the home
stretch now, having just crossed over the border into Virginia.
There's only one more full day of stories to tell. We've got
an Angry Pen for you, we've got Rock City, and all sorts of
warm and fuzzy memories from four, count 'em, four different
states, so gather 'round the fire while we spin 'ya another yarn.
We now take you back to Tuscaloosa, AL, 8:00AM.
We're really starting to like the folks over at La Quinta Inns
and Suites. They have nice rooms, desks with data ports, and
bathrooms with separate bathing and sinking facilities, so that
more than one person can get ready at the same time. The only
problem we have with 'em would be the complimentary danishes which,
frankly, suck ass. We actually chose our Tuscaloosa exit last night
specifically because there was a La Quinta there (and we found a
coupon in a Burger King which saved us about ten bucks). Anyway,
enough with the plugs. We woke up this morning to find that it had
gotten so cold the night before that there was ice on our car. "Ugh!," says Lars.
But, once the car defrosted itself, we were off and runnin' on Day 6.
Nothing much happened in the way of excitement for fifty miles or so.
That is until we approached the city of Birmingham, Alabama. This is
where our first big story of the day began to take shape. (I can feel
the cape threatening to come out just thinking about it… DOWN BOY!!!).
Suffice it to say that our trip to Birmingham unleashed the first Angry
Pen of the trip. Just click on this picture of an angry Lars to read
all about it.
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We saw our first billboard for "World Famous" Rock City 30 miles on
the Alabama side of the Bama-Georgia border (after that, we saw them
pretty much every mile or so). Rock City also appears in Dave's book
(p. 252-254, a relatively massive entry), and is the only attraction
on our route that one of us has actually been to before. Lars was
there in the mid-to-late seventies. Rock City is just silly enough to
deserve an entry in this log. But first, we had to cross into two new
states: Georgia and Tennessee. Lookout Mountain, and Rock City, you
see, are just Southeast of Chattanooga, TN.
We were in Georgia for less than half an hour, not long enough
to really have much to say
about it, but here's a picture that Lars tried to take of Georgia's
Welcome sign. Unfortunately there was a nuclear explosion nearby at
the exact moment he snapped the shutter. We also stopped at something
that was billed as a scenic overlook, but which appeared to be primarily
a view of some poor sap's back yard. At any rate, we're sure Georgia's
a very nice state, and you should all be sure to visit whenever your
travel plans next permit.
Now, about Rock City. Rock City is an amusement park in the most
basic definition of the word, in that it is a park, and it is somewhat
amusing. Situated on the top of Lookout Mountain, and straddling the
border of Georgia and Tennessee, Rock City is the Taj Mahal of roadside
kitsch. It's basically a 3/4-mile path through a series of tunnels,
cracks, and overhangs, some carved, some natural, on the side of the
mountain. We got a lot of pictures of this elfin-themed rock park,
so we're going to do them in the photo essay format. Enjoy.
Lars frolicks with the elves.
It looks like Mike discovered Dr. Atkins and his diet just in time.
What Rock City calls a reindeer, seen through a 25-cent telescope.
Those of you who know us will not be surprised to find that we are not above a little juvenile humor.
"Don't come any closer! I'll cut it! I swear I will!"
Mike on top of Lookout Mountain, with a very nice view of Chattanooga in the background.
Lars' Severed Head is spotted on a stone bridge on Lookout Mountain.
The body was discovered moments later.
Lars demonstrates why Rock City carries a very expensive liability insurance policy.
Life is hard for the citizens of Krypton.
Lars tempts fate on a precarious observation platform.
"Help me, Mike! They're speaking to me! Join us... it's bliiiiissss!"
We walked out of Rock City at about 3:00, with three hundred
miles to go before our last non-home stop of the trip, Wytheville,
VA. So we basically had no time for anything except mile-makin'.
We covered the distance in a little over five hours. And here we
are. Day 6 is in the books.
